You swore you knew exactly who I was,
but it was only a version of me
that you created in your mind
Tell me, was it out of fear?
or disbelief in my character?
Did the crease of my smile,
or the resilience in my spine intimidate you?
Perhaps I was nothing but a distraction
instead of facing your own demons
You never showed me who you really were
until you only came around when you were feeling lonely
I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to your expectations
of all the things you thought I could be capable of
From the beginning this was all your doing.
I remember thinking if I should feel offended,
since the real me wasn’t enough
You just never wanted to open your eyes to see it for yourself
I was never the one who had something to lose
I don’t know how you can look at yourself in the mirror all the time
and still be a fool
The monster you’ve been looking for was not me

It was always you.

Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez