In Her Orbit

My latest pieces

“I have survived too much to go quietly.
Let a meteor take me.
Call the thunder for back up.
My death will be grand.
The land will crack,
the sun will eat itself…

-the day I leave.” – Rupi Kuar.
Creating stardust with ink since 2005. IG: @EchoesOf.Venus

  • Your Home

    My body is my home
    Where my mind is free to run rampant
    Dwelling vigorously,
    my eternal soul
    There are sturdy limbs that carry
    down to the halls of my fingertips
    Windows in the shape of eyes
    If you look inside,
    can you see the castle I have built?
    I had to learn how to love myself first
    before I could continue to give
    Constantly in renovation
    of new ways to take care
    so that I am never too empty, too unkempt
    too depleted, or dependent
    I will never be homeless

    — Take care of your home.


    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • If I wanted to
    I know how I can stop the whole world
    Separating myself out-of-body
    Just to become one with your every word
    My own bottomless ocean of feelings…
    feeling you entirely
    With such unfathomable intensity
    Caressing you without a single touch
    I can come to you vacant
    but still very much whole
    so I can offer you a place to get away
    And gentle reminders that keep you sane
    A forbidden territory for us deeply felt kind
    I find comfort in knowing that you are not alone
    And not letting you forget about your soul

    If I wanted to…..

    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • A Love Language

    It’s easy for one to hookup under the moon,
    But I want you in the morning
    and late afternoons.
    When the sun has finished stretching
    and maybe some coffee too.
    Breakfast on me,
    lunch on you?

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • XO

    A kiss
    is not just a kiss
    But a constant subliminal wish
    Just another lengthy trip
    While our watches stop working
    and the world is standing still
    What is time to all those longing
    When things for us usually go downhill
    My souls been out wandering
    The exhausted independent traveler
    Such a long sleepless journey
    Mon chéri,
    I’ve been bettering me
    Being free
    and constantly- subconsciously searching
    For some peace of mind
    Maybe you can take me there
    Kiss me all the time
    I mean,
    What is a cold winter
    When your lips could be on mine

    – December muse

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • Sunset Boulevard

    Autumn leaves stripped
    Sun’s late summery kiss
    Like clothing slipped from skin
    Sorry, did you say something?

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • The Misconception

    People often forget that alone and lonely are two entirely different things.
    Alone is coming home to myself — drinking tea, painting, and finding peace in the quiet.
    Alone is lying beneath the stars in Central Park, staring into the universe and wondering how I’m going to leave my mark on the world.
    Alone is sitting in my living room, lost in self-reflection, putting my thoughts onto paper and discovering pieces of myself I never knew existed.
    But most importantly, alone means I do not have to wilt into the arms of another person just to feel whole. It means I will not surrender my light to someone who cannot recognize the stars I carry or appreciate the poetry within me.
    Lonely is different.
    Lonely is the ache that begs for anything to fill the silence.
    Lonely is craving a presence, even when that presence does not bring peace.
    Lonely is reaching for someone simply because the emptiness feels too loud.

    Alone is freedom.
    Lonely is longing.

    And I would rather stand beneath my own stars than shrink myself just to be someone else’s moon

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • City Love

    Bright lights, busy streets

    Always out of time 

    Forever out of reach 

    Loving here seems almost pointless 

    Just too many hearts to choose

    Too much pain to want to have to through 

    There’s always something somewhere 

    that someone’s got to prove 

    Surrounded by pride and fear on every face

    You always keep the real you light years away

    This fall has been so cold

    You’d think all this “body heat” would suffice 

    Internally we are the problem 

    We’re to blame for all the ice 

    Maybe I’m starting to think that

    compassion and empathy have long died

  • The Train to the Sky

    I envy you.
    Your smile is beautiful by day
    & even more so by night.
    Perfect,
    full of bliss
    and untouchable only by sight.
    However I am always full of hate,
    seen running from my problems & mistakes.
    And the people who touch me
    never give but take..
    I let them walk all over me.

    -said the train to the Sky 

  • What’s it Worth?

    Late night metrical composition flaws 

    Electrical brain waves bouncing off the walls 

    If it could ever be seen as being worth the long haul 

    Then perhaps a constant bliss that’s eternal once and for all

     

    (November 14, 2016)

  • The Dance

    Flying
    Everything else had fallen off me
    All cares, fears and insecurities
    As you reached out to dance
    A night time air show at last
    Still hesitant to touch your hand
    You once were the man
    who didn’t know how to be open
    But your body spoke in
    different languages
    Saying “Be free for the moment”
    Its one of those rare feelings I get-
    -This out of body experience type
    Room filled with more than two dozen
    Still me, but inside i wasn’t
    Somewhere else flying
    to the Salsa and bachata mood
    Nothing at all mattered
    Not even you
    Though our fingers were entwined
    You were just my pilot who helped steer me for take off
    I’ll never forget that dance
    and how I felt so alive

    -My thank you.

  • The Truth About The Lack Of Commitment

    I cried oceans and rivers,
    lakes into streams.

    It didn’t hit me right away
    when I had to watch you leave.

    The world kept stretching wider,
    pulling us down to our knees.

    I may have been weak,
    but you were never stronger than me.

    — The “faith” you had in us

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • Come What May

    You’re not thinking
    I’m not thinking
    Once strong
    now a loosing fight
    This happens all the time
    We just can’t seem to get it right
    When it comes to temptations
    We stumbled upon forever in conversation
    And how much we don’t deserve one other
    Just pure unwavering frustration
    The measure of our bond was consistent
    How can you be so passive with all of this distance
    But it’s not you is it?
    It’s the universe sky’s
    Always coming for all I own
    Like it’s never satisfied
    Seemed like we finally got to turn nothing into something
    Watched Fall sweep in and change the color of the trees
    The world took your smile like a bad disease
    It’s clear that the universe has been so angry with me
    But no idea what it all mean?

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • What A Thought

    Difficulty sleeping

    A lot on the mind

    By now I can basically make out all of the imperfections of the ceiling

    Just wishing I could get some sort of sign

    Of when the inconveniences of life will come to an end

    Or maybe just some more time..

  • Change

    In’s and outs 

    Humid boardwalk beach winds 

    The universe said, out with the old

    Lets begin again

    Where your rivers flow my dear

    Because so much of the water has been so unclear…

     

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • To Whom It May Concern

    I’ve never stopped looking for you. Although everyone tells me that I shouldn’t. Time passes and I still search for you. Especially when I’m at my lowest for some reason. Even when I’m surrounded by people who I know are actually there for me. I look for you even though I don’t even need you anymore or expect you to want me to. I feel like I should have some type of solid hatred towards you and rid myself of all that I know about you, but I don’t. I have preplanned, mapped out, rode buses during late nights, walked long winter blocks, left letters in mailboxes, and even dragged my sister in the heat of the sun’s rays when we were only teens to locations that don’t even exist anymore. Addresses I found that you have one lived, but only to find myself back at square one all over again.

    I can’t imagine what it’s like to be able to give up your own children. I grew up running down so many pencils, writing/venting sometimes about how much I wish I was never born. Being adopted, becoming a foster child, having to pick up and take care of myself. You know, you may have regretted that one night you gave yourself to a man with curly brown hair like mine, but I am the result. Sometimes I wonder how it happened. Were you under the influence and didn’t know him at all. Were you an addict? Perhaps  you were actually married to him. What if it became too much to raise me? What if you were raped? Out of my other 6 siblings, what if I was your only mistake? On top of all of that I don’t know anymore about my father than I know about you.
    When I look at the only picture of you we have the same eyes, cheeks.. It shifts from feelings of being hopeful and yearning to numbness and despair. Sometimes I wonder if it would make you happy to know the woman I’ve become. Would you even remember me? What would we even say to each other?

    You will never know how many nights I spent crying because someone had changed, betrayed, hurt, or walked right out of my life. You will never know that I still claim your last name like I was adamant that it belonged to me. You will never know if I’ve found real  love or how difficult my teenage years were for me. How I had to go through child loss, and even went through a time where I lost my sense of self. Days spent living with caretakers, who instead of taking care of me, had poor judgment and made terrible decisions over me. You will never know of the men who used me and hurt me down to the bottom of my soul. I had no one in my corner, and I had
    to grow up being the child and the parent at the same time while you have long forgotten me.
    I don’t know why I still look for you.

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • Garden

    I decided you could enter my garden
    You could finally have a taste
    Turning on the springs to my restricted fountains
    The only visitor in a while of the place
    Because I believed that you were different
    Look at all the sunflowers you gave
    I thought how could I deserve your offerings
    Watering me with your love spells
    But what was usually smooth and pleasant in taste
    Only burned now instead
    Your fountains were as sweet as they were toxic
    Addicting
    Plenty
    Tonic
    You yourself didn’t even know it.
    Pulling me in,
    pushing me back
    You’ve let the vines of your past
    grow in
    Taking over your garden and started sprawling into mine
    Your golden water supply lines were all out of whack
    Your gates never wanting to stay open
    ..Now…
    This was now
    When I finally decided.

    Illustration by: Fatima Seehar
    Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez

  • Once Upon A..

    Magnetic touch
    Comforting scents
    Such a beautiful mind
    Somewhere deep in the end
    The end of time
    The end of what was, and now is
    The end of what seemed to be the longest winter
    The end of emptiness
    That part that’s beginning to fill of
    I want you and you want me
    something I could have never seen
    Coming down like the rain
    Sun showers throughout the day
    I then melt in your arms
    as if in 80 degree weather
    Though it’s 30 in new york
    We just welcomed spring
    But your hands speak mid-summer
    You run the chills out down my spine
    Fingertips electrifying
    Set me free
    You rip all the layers of insecurities away
    open up my eyes
    You warm the coldest parts of my body
    constantly indulge my mind
    And your smile makes it even harder for me to be without you

  • Fire Place

    38 degrees outside
    nor’Easter ice melts 
    Though the storm in your eyes
    I could never tell
    In sleep you’ll find
    I am kind
    And I’ll never forget 
    those nickels and dimes 
    Your paved road gave me this peace of mind 
    And every step I took, the snow melted
    You were reaching out for a fireplace 
    My heart felt it
    Eliminating fears
    You somehow knew there was no wind here