“I have survived too much to go quietly. Let a meteor take me. Call the thunder for back up. My death will be grand. The land will crack, the sun will eat itself…
-the day I leave.” – Rupi Kuar.
Creating stardust with ink since 2005.
IG: @EchoesOf.Venus
Love has always been the constant moon that orbits my world, A gentle pull, never to depart. I’ve had so many chances to walk on solid ground but I rather be the other kind of girl In its gravitational embrace I spin and spin, A dance of souls where we may or may not win. Bound to the light, I drift and glide, Around your warmth, where true heart reside floating in time Yours and mine In this vast endless sky, we’re lost and found— Two stars forever in love’s orbit, inevitably unbound.
Utterly enamored You are my diamond, my beau Together we are much rarer, softer blissfully unashamed I’ve seen breathtaking worlds in many eyes But there hasn’t been any thing quite like you I have never really known “safe” Neither have I been truly secure in one’s arms To become one entity during the night and when the sun comes out from the dawn, we reign I see you through skin and bones I guess I forgot what it was like to be afraid You’ve challenged all of my defenses This is the most peace I’ve ever had in my life since you came.
My body is my home Where my mind is free to run rampant Dwelling vigorously, my eternal soul There are sturdy limbs that carry down to the halls of my fingertips Windows in the shape of eyes If you look inside, can you see the castle I have built? I had to learn how to love myself first before I could continue to give Constantly in renovation of new ways to take care so that I am never too empty, too unkempt too depleted, or dependent I will never be homeless
— Take care of your home.
Copyright 2019 Valerie Sanchez
If I wanted to I know how I can stop the whole world Separating myself out-of-body Just to become one with your every word My own bottomless ocean of feelings… feeling you entirely With such unfathomable intensity Caressing you without a single touch I can come to you vacant but still very much whole so I can offer you a place to get away And gentle reminders that keep you sane A forbidden territory for us deeply felt kind I find comfort in knowing that you are not alone And not letting you forget about your soul
It’s easy for one to hookup under the moon, But I want you in the morning and late afternoons. When the sun has finished stretching and maybe some coffee too. Breakfast on me, lunch on you?
Flying Everything else had fallen off me All cares, fears and insecurities As you reached out to dance A night time air show at last Still hesitant to touch your hand You once were the man who didn’t know how to be open But your body spoke in different languages Saying “Be free for the moment” Its one of those rare feelings I get- -This out of body experience type Room filled with more than two dozen Still me, but inside i wasn’t Somewhere else flying to the Salsa and bachata mood Nothing at all mattered Not even you Though our fingers were entwined You were just my pilot who helped steer me for take off I’ll never forget that dance and how I felt so alive
You’re not thinking I’m not thinking Once strong now a loosing fight This happens all the time We just can’t seem to get it right When it comes to temptations We stumbled upon forever in conversation And how much we don’t deserve one other Just pure unwavering frustration The measure of our bond was consistent How can you be so passive with all of this distance But it’s not you is it? It’s the universe sky’s Always coming for all I own Like it’s never satisfied Seemed like we finally got to turn nothing into something Watched Fall sweep in and change the color of the trees The world took your smile like a bad disease It’s clear that the universe has been so angry with me But no idea what it all mean?
I’ve never stopped looking for you. Although everyone tells me that I shouldn’t. Time passes and I still search for you. Especially when I’m at my lowest for some reason. Even when I’m surrounded by people who I know are actually there for me. I look for you even though I don’t even need you anymore or expect you to want me to. I feel like I should have some type of solid hatred towards you and rid myself of all that I know about you, but I don’t. I have preplanned, mapped out, rode buses during late nights, walked long winter blocks, left letters in mailboxes, and even dragged my sister in the heat of the sun’s rays when we were only teens to locations that don’t even exist anymore. Addresses I found that you have one lived, but only to find myself back at square one all over again.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to be able to give up your own children. I grew up running down so many pencils, writing/venting sometimes about how much I wish I was never born. Being adopted, becoming a foster child, having to pick up and take care of myself. You know, you may have regretted that one night you gave yourself to a man with curly brown hair like mine, but I am the result. Sometimes I wonder how it happened. Were you under the influence and didn’t know him at all. Were you an addict? Perhaps you were actually married to him. What if it became too much to raise me? What if you were raped? Out of my other 6 siblings, what if I was your only mistake? On top of all of that I don’t know anymore about my father than I know about you. When I look at the only picture of you we have the same eyes, cheeks.. It shifts from feelings of being hopeful and yearning to numbness and despair. Sometimes I wonder if it would make you happy to know the woman I’ve become. Would you even remember me? What would we even say to each other?
You will never know how many nights I spent crying because someone had changed, betrayed, hurt, or walked right out of my life. You will never know that I still claim your last name like I was adamant that it belonged to me. You will never know if I’ve found real love or how difficult my teenage years were for me. How I had to go through child loss, and even went through a time where I lost my sense of self. Days spent living with caretakers, who instead of taking care of me, had poor judgment and made terrible decisions over me. You will never know of the men who used me and hurt me down to the bottom of my soul. I had no one in my corner, and I had to grow up being the child and the parent at the same time while you have long forgotten me. I don’t know why I still look for you.
I decided you could enter my garden You could finally have a taste Turning on the springs to my restricted fountains The only visitor in a while of the place Because I believed that you were different Look at all the sunflowers you gave I thought how could I deserve your offerings Watering me with your love spells But what was usually smooth and pleasant in taste Only burned now instead Your fountains were as sweet as they were toxic Addicting Plenty Tonic You yourself didn’t even know it. Pulling me in, pushing me back You’ve let the vines of your past grow in Taking over your garden and started sprawling into mine Your golden water supply lines were all out of whack Your gates never wanting to stay open ..Now… This was now When I finally decided.
Magnetic touch
Comforting scents
Such a beautiful mind
Somewhere deep in the end
The end of time
The end of what was, and now is
The end of what seemed to be the longest winter
The end of emptiness
That part that’s beginning to fill of
I want you and you want me
something I could have never seen
Coming down like the rain
Sun showers throughout the day
I then melt in your arms
as if in 80 degree weather
Though it’s 30 in new york
We just welcomed spring
But your hands speak mid-summer
You run the chills out down my spine
Fingertips electrifying
Set me free
You rip all the layers of insecurities away
open up my eyes
You warm the coldest parts of my body
constantly indulge my mind
And your smile makes it even harder for me to be without you
38 degrees outside
nor’Easter ice melts
Though the storm in your eyes
I could never tell
In sleep you’ll find
I am kind
And I’ll never forget
those nickels and dimes
Your paved road gave me this peace of mind
And every step I took, the snow melted
You were reaching out for a fireplace
My heart felt it
Eliminating fears
You somehow knew there was no wind here
X marks the spot..
Always hard to explain my feelings Used to internalizing, packing it all away
piling things on top, and calling it healing What happens when the people who matter most Threaten your very existence or if or when they decide to go ghost, When you’ve got to comfortable,
become somewhat gullible,
And let the walls come down almost.
The pain isn’t always immediate Sometimes I never see it coming It’s more like
late at night,
Or when I’m finally alone,
And just sick and tired of running.
I find myself talking a lot Though I’d prefer not to let anyone in
So if I’m speaking It’s probably me desperate Just for someone to really understand
I haven’t felt much of that lately I sometimes blame myself like Father’s Day that came and went,
just reasons why I struggle with men. To much nurturing in me from my moms side
But not enough of a dad in me to let go
I give my whole heart,
not some of it,
I put a door mat in front of his feet, And call him home When happy, I’m really happy But sad is really sad Never ever like to stay still So I’m rarely reminded of my past Mom called me a flower when I was 11
I didn’t get what she meant back then But I’m guessing “Beauty isn’t what you look like or where’ve you been But what you can become in the end.”
I tried to stay away from you
This toxic thing in my life
That needed to be purged
No matter how hard I tried
I found myself looking for you
Wanting something
But wanting nothing
I didn’t need you
but you were all that I knew.
In Her Orbit 